This exercise in #saltytarot grew out of an encounter with someone who identified a little too much with their significator (forgetting for a moment how much I cling onto the Queen of Swords’ skirts for a minute *AHEM*), becoming instead everything that card represented when reversed.
Even before this experience though, these are the kinds of internal conversations I’d have with the cards when I was/am frustrated and just done with their shit! It’s actually a very interesting way to explore the cards and learn more about their less desirable aspects, especially if you struggle with absorbing the idea of reversals (as I do).
Page/Princess of Wands: #
Knight of Wands: #
Queen of Wands: #homecomingqueen
Look everybody, it’s the most popular girl in school come to grace us with her presence! She’s so pretty! And bold! And inspiring!
King of Wands: #
Page/Princess of Cups: #
Knight of Cups: #
Queen of Cups: #
King of Cups: #bait’n’switch
Behold the original fuckboy. Mr. Sensitive, Mr. Enlightened, Mr. Positivity and love. Well, until the object of your adoration asserts their independence and free will. Then you go from everybody’s guidance counsellor to psycho creeper in a heartbeat. Hail the King of Manipulation, Lord of the Professional Victims and emotional abuser par excellence!
Page/Princess of Swords: #OMGpleaseshutup
Knight of Swords: #trolololololl
You’re not funny. You think you are, but you’re not. No, really. Just quit it FFS.
Queen of Swords(yours truly): #whatabitch
Wow what’s it like being the smartest person in the room, or at least, thinking you are? Must get awful lonely up there in that ivory tower of yours. is that why you never get tired of dishing out unsolicted advice? People don’t even call you a know-it-all behind your back – they say it straight to your face! Not every conversation has to be a PSA. Remember that sword of yours cuts both ways.
King of Swords: #m’lady
Let me guess, you’re a new atheist and you have a poster of Richard Dawkins hanging on your bedroom wall. Which is in your mother’s basement, because you’re too “smart” to get a real job.
Page/Princess of Pentacles: #
Knight of Pentacles: #
Queen of Pentacles: #patchouli
Look, miss crunchy granola hippie earthmother – would it kill you to wash your hair and put on some socks? And for the love of the goddess, would you maybe not freebleed on my new car seats?
King of Pentacles: #SNORE
Good GOD you’re dull. Holy fuck.