The Sun and Moon Tarot makes its (public) debut in the first of a week of spreads I’ll be doing to prepare for the things I have planned for Halloween. This one is by Kiki, the Tarot Dame, and is based on the F.E.A.R. acronym:
Fear = False Evidence Appearing Real.
I’ve done a few examinations of personal fears already here, but I’m looking for one to purposefully relinquish on bonfire night.
 False: A fear that you have which is false or unfounded – Queen of Cups
I think this is quite literally a fear of my own emotions – and, as represented by the Queen of Cups, a fear of their potential – and a fear of my own femininity in the more esoteric sense. I am naturally watery, but I’ve created a bridge of Swords so that I don’t have to get my feet wet. Ironically, the Queen of cups is what I’ve always longed to achieve; that “tapped-in-ness”. She’s like the HP, but more earth-bound. Not an archetype, but more of a real person.
The Q/C feels first and asks questions later; this is frightening to someone who is used to thinking first. And second… and third and then maybe, maybe letting a feeling slip through. Maybe. Water of Water is highly unstable, but If I’m going to be all froggy, I’ll have to learn to approach this from the other direction as well.
 Evidence: The proof you have that this fear is false – 9 of Swords – cruelty
The mental anquish it causes me! Possibly even literal nightmares, like in the RWS version of the 9/S. I’m looking at the words I used above: “…a bridge of Swords…” and there they are. These form a ladder, the clib up from the water into the clouds, but though the air might be rare up there, the amphibian in me needs to swim.
Though Swords is Air, the 9/S deals with the imagination and dreams, so I think it can be seen as the bad influence of Water being sent in the wrong direction. The 9/S sees all that is wrong with the world and the emotions can’t handle that reality. So the more watery I let myself be, the worse the effect of the 9/S. There’s a vicious cycle at work here. Something needs to be reversed.
 Appearing: Why it appears otherwise (why this fear appears real to you) – 4 of Cups – luxury
Indifference to my own emotions? Ignoring what’s there; the obvious gift/abundance. 4 is far too stifling a number for Water; it leads to stagnation. That really spells it out right there: unused emotions become stagnant and stagnant emotions lead to a muddy mind. La tristesse durera unless I stir up the waters. Ta-da!
 Real: What is the real truth of the matter – 5 of Wands – strife
I am fighting my own nature. This card came up as Yin – that which I have too much of that weakens me (balanced by Prince of Swords – Yang) – in a 2-card spread I did the other day. Not a coincidence, for sure. What I need to remember though is that the scene in the 5/W is often remarked upon as being a game; a play-fight. Even on this card, it is a stick-fighting game (donga) that is shown. There is some meaning here that is dancing on the peripheral edges of my brain…
But! The 5 comes to break the stability of 4, so this isn’t entirely a bad thing if I can use my whacking stick on the right things. Fire boils water, disturbing the surface, bringing Air and Water together in the form of steam.
The Quint… The Quint… it’s… THE MOON!! :D
The illusion of fear. Wow.