I’ve been struggling with several readings for over a week now. Nothing I do can make sense of them; the meanings keep dancing around the edge of my understanding. Can’t convince the 5 of Pents to stop coming up as a reflection of my belief system – tres upsetting, but there’s obviously something there to be investigated and dealt with.
I treated myself to “The Mythic Path” yesterday and am thinking of ways to incorporate readings into the exercises therein. My personal “stories” are an area that needs work, but I haven’t found the right words to begin. I forget how important words are to me; “mythology” is the right word. It’s like waves on a beach, neither masculine nor feminine; it caresses and whispers and entices.
Maybe reworking my mythologies will ease the other transformations I’m slogging through. This shit is hard. So much dogma to erase and rewind. So much internal landscaping to be done, non-indigenous flora to be weed-whacked. This statement by Cat Chapin-Bishop at Quaker Pagan Reflections is my mantra-of-the-moment:
“I think I’m going to go ahead and let myself not make too much sense for a while. I’m going to go ahead and act like this stuff made sense, and see if it works for me.”
At least the creativity is going really, really well. Dementedly well. Mad scientist well. IF I COULD ONLY FIND A CORNER ROUNDER!!!