I feel like there is something I need to get rid of; or something I’m in the process of getting rid of. Maybe a self discovery? I honestly don’t know. I just know how it feels and how it feels is that I’m so done with whatever it is, I just want to know how to help the process along and usher asses out the door quick-quick.
There’s a lot going on right now and I want to be sure I don’t lose control of the horses. I’ve gone from being practically a shut-in, to dealing one-on-one with people 40 hours a week. I’m having to learn and adapt at lightning speed, and have taken on a world of responsibility – something I’m chronically averse to. At the same time, there are dozens of things I want to do for myself, but when I had the time I just sat on my ass and now I don’t have the time. So. What to do? How to focus and prioritise? How not to lose myself in my job again at the expense of myself and my sanity again?
Out with the old! In with the Old Path! ;)
This is the deck for when you want the answer straight up like a bucket of ice water to the face. This are serious deck. It has no sense of humour. Thoth likes to hold the mirror up, but always with a smirk; the Old Path doesn’t even understand the concept of double talk. It is stereotypically Germanic, but that includes “efficient”. And I’m only using Majors, because it fits the feeling on “enough fucking around – down to business.” Let’s get brutally obvious all up in here!
New Moon Spread by Eowyn
 What lays on your dark depths. What is unseen. What we stumble against in the dark nights.
See what I mean? With any other deck, I’d know this was a subtle jab, but here it’s just the Old Path being obvious.
I’m really liking the title change in this particular instant: The Close. That is what this feels most like, I think. And wherever something closes, another thing opens (God wants you to take the window exit). Right now, I’m in the passage between the two; I don’t entirely know where I’m headed. Its like limbo, or the place between lives; weightless to a certain degree, but not disconcerting. I’d call it “resigned”, but that implies a hopelessness that is completely absent. Accepting? Patient?
In this position… maybe it isn’t so hidden to me after all. Maybe this is what’s going on, just the meaning or purpose of it is not within my knowledge at this time. The bigger picture isn’t ready for the reveal just yet. The waiting, patiently. There really is a sense of suspension in this card, almost as if the scene has been frozen. The space between exhale and inhale – it lasts an eternity. Biding your time! Yes. The overwhelming message I get here is “between” and nothing needs or can be done in the between. You just have to sit it out and enjoy the rest.
 What will begin to show, to arise.
II The High Priestess
After the Death card, it seems like this High Priestess should be emerging out of water. She feels very strongly like a rebirth. Maybe her diaphanous gown hints at this watery connection. I think it is interesting that she is portrayed in a daytime setting, when the HP is usually associated with the night or some other dark environment. She is no less “priestessy” for this.
Having the High Priestess appear in this position is possibly the most pleasing pick I could have hoped for, for all that she symbolizes the unconscious, intuition, inner wisdom etc. I like to think I’m heading in that direction, but I honestly don’t know how much progress I’m making. It’s hard to judge something so subjective, especially when it seems like I keep coming up empty. Quite likely I am experiencing the natural blowback from trying to force something that simply will. not. be. forced.
So let it rise to the surface on it’s own.
Or, you know, you can keep trying and wearing yourself out. Whatever.
 What will illuminate the dark path. The key in the night.
III The Empress
My first reaction to this card? “Fuck! Hell noes!” It’s the baby. I am vehemently child-free (but I’m only an asshole about it if you get righteous about me being wrong) and right at this very minute this card screams “BABEEEEEEE!!” Shudder. ::SHUD.DER:: Bleauaaarrrgh… shake it off.
Now that the freak-out’s back in the box, this card is a wonderful, promising progression. I really identify the Empress as the HP come into her own, when associated with real live human beings, rather than just archetypes. She’s what happens when the Magician and High Priestess get their sacred union on and meld together in a supernova of light and creation. She is the embodiment of 3.
The wording of this position is almost eerily apt: “The key in the night.” I have discovered before that the Empress is the key. To get from the place of transition, to encourage what will begin to show and follow that path will take nurturing. Love. An embracing of wholeness; of the entirety of being, rather than rejecting the parts that “don’t fit”.
There is also the implication of commitment and responsibility, which I quite possibly fear even worse than babies…
 Yourself. Shadow card, from the base of the deck.
X The Wheel of Fortune
Oh, Wheel of Fortune. How I despair when you come up. You’re just so confusing. Obviously, I have some issues; an innate resistance to the concept of the Wheel that is very fitting as the Shadow. Saṃsāra. Life is suffering. BUT – only as a result of trying to resist the natural ebb and flow; of trying to exert your puny human will over a power that your puny human intellect could never comprehend. So let it go. Everything changes in an endless, self-destructive, self-perpetuating cycle.
There appears to be a lively discussion going on in this card, but things inside the ouroboros just keep ticking regardless. I wonder if the sleeping girl should be woken up? Or is she merely in a state of suspended hibernation, waiting for the metamorphosis to be completed. Note the presence of moths and butterflies in the other cards, not to mention that Death/Metamorphosis is the primary card in the spread. She reminds me very much of the feeling of “waiting in the between place” I got from that card, and that would be me.
And I ask again: Should I wake her up? Do I need to?
HAH! She’s in the womb! Okay, let her sleep.
(And if there was any doubt at all about this being the Shadow – it is also the Quint card.)
- Helen from Tarot Notes – Major and Minor did a wonderful reading for me just over a month ago and 3 of these cards were in that reading. Coincidence? Ja, no.
- How interesting are the card correspondences to the phases of the moon?? New Moon (darkness) – Death; waxing and waning crescents – High Priestess; full moon – Empress! And the WoF is the cycle as a whole, ever-repeating. Wow.
- In addition to this, I’ve been doing a lot of Earth-Sea-Sky visualisation/meditation/prayer work. I’m really finding the Druidic ternary of elements to be very comfortable. Fire is still there, but it’s central. It’s me; it’s Spirit; it’s Life. It comes from “outside”, or is a product of the other 3, something like that. I much prefer triangles over squares.