“When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.”
Beauty is not something I was blessed or cursed with (this is what I gathered based on outside reactions to my appearance), so I’ve been ignoring the Your Beauty Spread that’s been doing the rounds on the forum recently, because really, I don’t put that much stead in my physical beauty.
If I was going to take this spread seriously, I would do it with intent to focus on a deeper level of beauty, but after a bit of a 5 of Cupsy day re: ageing , I’ve changed my mind. I decided I will do the spread and I will ask about my physical beauty; so there. And I’ll get Thoth to break it to me not-so-gently. Thoth is honest, if nothing else. Not mean, but it doesn’t pull punches.
Uhhhh… you’re not going to make this easy for me, are you, Thoth? While I was determined to make this about physical beauty, those cards don’t really scream “physical” to me. I’m getting the feeling I’m being redirected to exactly what I should be focusing on, according to Thoth. Don’t you tell me what to do!
 This represents yourself
5 of Cups (Disappointment)
Not only did this card jump out while I was shuffling, but it was the theme for this post before I did the reading. The Thoth knows and now it’s laughing at me. Why you little… Question is, is this merely a reflection of the the above and my current state of mind, or is it a more overarching theme? This isn’t the first time the 5 of Cups has come up as a representation of my inner workings. And I am a 5, so this makes sense. But the rest?
The more I read about the 5 of Cups, the more complicated it becomes. On the surface, it’s all unhappiness, but below that, it’s a moving towards – calmness, clarity, discovery. I love what Raven says: “The grey tristesse that was lurking behind the luxury’s glamour is now exposed, the ‘truth is out’.”
I wonder if the card could be renamed “dissatisfaction” – with the status quo – rather than “disappointment”, although that sounds more like the RWS 4 of Cups… Not a dissatisfaction with life in general, or ingratitude, but a need to change things; to not settle; to not simply accept. The LWB describes this card as “the triumph of matter over spirit” and maybe that’s what I’m trying to describe: a stubborn refusal to “let go and let God”, as it were. It’s a toughie, this one.
 This represents your beauty
Devastating? Ha ha ha! My eyes aren’t especially lovely… my height? I do fall down a fair bit too – hee!
Okay, FINE, I’ll be serious. I think this follows from the 5 of Cups’ disillusion and disturbance. Realization. Perhaps the never being content is a good thing, if it is channeled in the right direction. The Tower shows the narrow, constrictive – albeit secure – walls of the world we build for ourselves, falling down to allow for expansion and light to come streaming in. I see this reflected to a subtler degree in the move from the stability of the 4 to the 5.
The Tower is also about change; BIG change and BIG change is something I excel at. Don’t tell me you’re going to be arriving 1/2 hour late for dinner, because that will ruin my whole evening, but tell me we’re moving to the Galapagos and we leave Tuesday and I’ll be ready Monday morning! For someone who is so filled with doubt, I am fearless when it comes to big decisions. I only sweat the small stuff.
 What your beauty consist of
10 of Cups (Satiety)
“Satiety” implies satisfaction, having enough – which completely contradicts the previous two cards – but the 10 is a beginning, as much as it is an ending. It’s the completion of a cycle, which then necessitates a re-evaluation, and then? Stay the same, or change. This time, the change comes from a place of knowing – self-knowing – kindness and wholeness. It’s not just a directionless lashing out. Maybe even in the face of the inner restlessness, I am able to find peace and perfection? The courage to change what I can and the serenity to accept what I cannot?
 What your beauty can offer others
3 of Wands (Virtue)
Interesting: Binah – the understanding. Oh, Thoth, what a little story you are telling me.
In the 3, 2 elements combine to form something new; a whole that is greater than the sum of its parts. It’s a number of creativity and working towards something from a point of strength. Being Wands and fire, I see it as an extroverted card; it works with others, appropriately. Again drawing on Raven’s interpretation: “The Three of Wands shows the powers of the element guided by understanding and awareness… the powerful fire understands its responsibility.”
There’s a simple, unbridled passion in the 3 of Wands, I think. A joie de vivre? For all my 5 of Cups, I can be very positive and enthusiastic. I’m a good cheerleader :) In Eastern philosophies, 3 is associated with compassion, which makes me very happy. This is something I strive towards completely integrating into my outlook on life and approach to people; I practise it consciously as often as I can.
 How you see your beauty
Prince of Swords
Pre-dic-ta-ble! No comment required.
 How others see your beauty
Ooooooh. The Thoth moon is very, very dark. The Moon sheds light on things we might not want to see… At the same time, the moon is seen as having a gentler light than the Sun, a more mothering aspect. Huh. As a Cancerian, I am ruled by the moon… Two sides: One cruel, one kind. Mysterious? I don’t know if this is positive or negative, really. All the talk of illusion and falsehood and hysteria! Maybe it shows a willingness to confront the darkness within, something which could be seen as a personal strength. Orrrrr it could be the “weirdness” that is part & parcel of me; l’Eau de Uneek. Two sides, two sides.
 Why people are intimidated by your beauty
Another card that, like the Moon, can’t really be pinned down. The Magician is a trickster by nature; chaotic neutral. And this really ties in with the Moon – not knowing which “face” you’re going to get! Actually, looking at it like this starts to make a lot of sense: chaotic neutral changes for the sheer heck of it; because it can’t stand to be confined by “your” perception of reality. From the outside, it can seem reckless to the point of insanity. Think “Cpt. Jack Sparrow” for a moment. This seemingly careless (not care_free_) approach is naturally intimidating to mundanishes.
The shadow side of the Magus isn’t nice at all, but if other people see the more positive Magus energy in me, maybe there’s something there that I’m not acknowledging. All that Will and creativity and action. So not me! Perhaps it’s just something as simple as my (obvious) intelligence. Buuuut taking it back to the Tower – who isn’t intimidated by that? It’s one of the “Dread Three” and even long-time readers feel a little anxious when the Tower comes up. Huh. There it is!
 What your beauty wants you to know
Ace of Swords
The Ace, the 1, the Magus… Beginning, potential, much left to learn. Realisation. The energy of the Ace is unformed, ready to go anywhere the Magus directs it. The LWB really supports this connection: “Invoked force. Power for good or evil.” It is also the card of the union of water and air, my two primary elements.
Maybe it’s a message to simplify? I’ll have to come back to this one; it’s not penetrating.
 How your beauty will remain at old age
Prince of Cups
Air and water again, but this time the air is _above_ the water. The elements have come together, learned from each other and separated, each stronger for the partnership. This is an interesting card, because it’s still “young” and has a very negative side to it; immature and ruthless; selfish. It’s a warning of what can happen if the Moon and Magus side of the energy goes unchecked. However, it’s also a card of passion and compassion, the natural outcome when the spirit and soul are harmoniously united and allowed to be expressed to their full potential. Whatever the case, I don’t think I’ll be losing the restlessness any time soon!