Full Moon Here We Go Again

The Moon - Pictorial Key Tarot

XVIII The Moon – Pictorial Key Tarot. The view from inside my head.

I was really surprised by how great I felt in the week leading up to Sunday’s full moon. Rather than the usual foggy head and lack of focus, I felt clear and… definite. Until Monday. I woke up feeling like the world had taken a shit in my mouth, metaphysically speaking. Just, ugh all over. And doubt? Oh my word, so much with the doubt.

Like KG, I am really quite taken with Thoth. I’m not being a good little girl like her and actively studying it yet, but I am endlessly impressed with the readings I’m getting. Even though I’m barely skimming the surface of it’s murky depths, the answers it gives are very accessible and devoid of “attitude”. I’d even go so far as to say it’s my new favourite! So thank you, Eris, for introducing me to creepy Uncle Al!

With its mix of occulty wisdom and strangely-down-to-earthness, I figured I might as well consult Thoth on the Doubt!Disbelief!Woe! situation using the Full Moon Fever Spread. The results I got were good, but Tuesday morning – feeling somewhat better – I wondered how much my mental state affects my readings. So I threw again, with very interesting results. Both readings follow below…

 

Thoth Tarot by

Thoth Tarot by Alester Crowley and Lady Frieda Harris; U.S. Games, 2005

[1] My spiritual progress as it exists now
Prince of Swords, The Devil
Air of Air in Earth (Capricorn/Aquarius) with Earth (Capricorn) Trump

Still going after it like the blazes, if the blazes were air. And earth. Lots and lots of mental energy, doggedly going after answers, whatever they may be. Questioning? Questioning for the intellectual value of it, because questions are good. As for Split-foot – freeing myself from previous constraints (especially religious a la Thoth), restrictions, limitations. Looking directly into the Shadow? A definite feeling of loneliness accompanies this. Maybe that’s why there is so much Capricorn?

[2] How things will evolve in the next four weeks
Princess of Swords, 4 of Disks (Power)
Earth of Air in Earth (Venus) with Fire (Sun) in Earth (Capricorn)

The situation in the first two cards continues, but with a little more discord. The Princess is more ruthless than the Prince. I think the Air is rebelling against all the Earth; still feeling trapped and being bound and determined to escape, to tear that shit up! The stability of the 4 of Disks strengthens this idea… it’s a rigid structure. Why I don’t think this refers to building a structure is because the Princess and Prince have a very strong aura of restlessness around them. I don’t think it’s going to be easy or pleasant, but it’s going to be productive.

[3] Someone or something that will affect it
8 of Swords (Interference), 7 of Swords (Futility)
Fire (Jupiter) in Air (Gemini) with Water (Moon) in Air (Aquarius)

Oh, tears. Tears and anguish. This very much reflects Monday’s mental state and I see it might be a recurring theme for the next month. Can’t say I’m overly excited by the prospect of more muzzy, fuzzy, directionless confusion, but I can at least guard against getting sucked too far down the rabbit hole of my own making if I’m aware that this is a passing phase. And a necessary one. Gotta crack some eggs to make an emo omelette! The 8 is the ultimate “paralysis through analysis”, but maybe the 7 will reveal illusions – in my Self and my life -, rather than fall victim to self-deceit.

[4] Outcome to be reached by the next Full Moon (March 30)
9 of Disks (Gain), Queen of Cups
Earth (Venus) in Earth (Virgo) with Water of Water in Air/Water (Gemini/Cancer)

This points to a very positive outcome, despite the grande tragedie it will take to get there. The 9 is like an expanded stable foundation, as opposed to the rigid, constricting structure of the 4. The Queen feels like a “coming into my own” card. The Queen of Cups doesn’t know the searching and despair of the Swords; she trusts herself, her intuition, her emotions completely. Normally, she’d be very unstable by herself, but with the 9 to back her up, I think she’s exalted and strong here.

 

Thhoth Tarot by

Thoth Tarot by Alester Crowley and Lady Frieda Harris; U.S. Games, 2005

[1] My spiritual progress as it exists now

7 of Swords (Futility), 5 of Disks (Worry)
Water (Moon) in Air (Aquarius) with Air (Mercury) in Earth (Taurus)

Ho! There’s the 7 of Swords from the previous day, along with the 5 of Disks which showed up in a yes/no/why reading on Raven’s site with the Prince and Princess of Swords. The 5 is a card of movement, destruction, disintegration after the 4 (also seen the previous day). It’s not pretty and it’s not pleasant and it’s not fun. Nuh-uh. I wonder if all the Earth cards don’t relate to physical health? There’s so many of them… maybe I’m coming down with something that’s adding to the overall blah?

[2] How things will evolve in the next four weeks
The Lovers, 6 of Disks (Success)
Air (Gemini) Trump with Water (Moon) in Earth (Taurus)

I get the feeling of “tearing down” – or at least “discord” – from the Lovers as well; they are far too “hot”. A decision, a revealing, a blending. (Interestingly, the Lovers is the cross-sum of the Devil, seen the previous day.) Remember the love; the love. Trust. For successful alchemy to happen, you have to lose an eyebrow or two in the process :) And there’s another 6 to back it up; a happier, wiser, well-adjusted 6. I’m hearing “Clouds” in my head ::barf::

[3] Someone or something that will affect it
Knight of Wands, 3 of Swords
Fire of Fire in Water/Fire (Scorpio/Sagittarius) with Earth (Saturn) in Air (Libra)

Burn-out? Impatience. Rearing to go charging off, but held back by the Swords, which offer no quarter. They demand stasis and fixed attention. The Knight points to the “expansion of spiritual individuality”, but the 3 reveals that knowing comes with a price. Illusions shattered, deceit revealed. These two cards back up the two from the previous day in the mental anguish they predict. Bugger and blast. Better stock up on the black eyeliner this month…

[4] Outcome to be reached by the next Full Moon (March 30)
The Hermit, Ace of Disks
Earth (Virgo) Trump with the Root of Earth

But again, a rather nice conclusion to a melancholy month. A strong, solid combination of Earth cards that lack their usual stodginess. The Hermit looks inward for wisdom (trusting his own voice, like the Queen of Cups); he is patient (unlike the Knight) and he has shone his light into the darkest corners of hell (Cerberus. Reminds me of the Fool and his dog…) and come out the other side. The Ace is raw potential, the beginning of new life. I love the natural colour scheme; it reminds me of palms and artichokes and coconuts. The background looks like wings. I also like the 7-pointed star in the centre. I know it’s Thelemic, but to me it marks the 7 elements (Western 4, Spirit + Wood and Metal).

 

What strikes me about both these spreads is how they are dominated by Earth and Air, two very unfriendly elements. Water and Fire war with passion and extreme emotions, but Earth and Air is a combination of sulking and avoidance. I think I’m reaching a point in my spiritual growth where I either have to completely surrender my intellectualism (it can come back later, but in a modified form) or abandon the project. If I can’t let go of my old modes of thinking, then I can’t embrace a new way of existing. The absence of Water and Fire says to me that, until I get this base shit sorted out, I’m not going to see them coming into power. The creativity and connectedness I seek simply will not happen without groundedness. Humanity? I can’t quite grasp the word… yes. The word; the intellect. Let it go and sink into the dark.

 

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4 thoughts on “Full Moon Here We Go Again

  1. Debra She Who Seeks says:

    That Moon card at the beginning of your post reminds me of that scene in the movie “Ed Wood” where old Bela Lugosi has to lay down in the movie-set pond and half-heartedly wrestle with the obviously rubber octupus. Great film!

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    • submerina says:

      HA HA! Marvelous association :D Something to remember when wrestling with the Moon: sometimes the scary monster is just a rubber octopus!

      Like

  2. erishilton says:

    How can you let the Sword-Storm take a back seat, so you can surf on all that glorious Water-In-Cuppy-Runneth-Over? I’m not sure, but my fiery guts tell me this much… It’s coming. It’s a tidal wave. Get your surf board. Doubt? Yes. It sucks. Swords are sharp little fuckers. You’re going to get hung up on things. That’s going to happen too.

    You’re driven by intellect, which is exactly what lifts you up and gets you to where you want to go, while it and holds you back from experiencing it all. Gods damn swords/air! It’s the same for me with earth/pents. My practical pragmatism is what anchors me, but it’s also what makes the journey more difficult. I compartmentalize it, in a way. I let the weirder stuff exist outside of that Practical Box… It doesn’t fit well, but… Fuck it. It doesn’t have to. ;)

    Not sure if that’s helpful, but let’s high five anyways… High Five!

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    • submerina says:

      ::High Five for Awesome::

      Yes, the phrase “double-edged sword” is soooooo apropos, le sigh. I’ve felt the wave sneaking up on the shore for a few weeks. Thought it might be a breakdown, but I think it’s more crisis-flavoured. Maybe now that the villagers have been warned, it won’t be total devastation when the tsunami hits. I’ll get my board, duuuuuuuuuuuuuude!

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