“Everyone has been made for some particular work, and the desire for that work has been put in every heart.”
This weekend, I got inspired. To draw, no less. It’s been three very dry months, but I’ve finally picked up a pencil again and things are coming out the tip of it. And I even know the secret: purpose.
I’m drawing for the purpose of giving the finished pieces as Christmas presents to family. After puzzling for weeks over what gifts I could get that would be meaningful, appreciated and not just another piece of junk to clutter up living space, I realised I could make them. I mean, I know I can make things, but what? But the drawings I’m doing are the perfect solution. An angel for my MIL and a series of wicked garden fairies for my SIL and they’re flowing effortlessly and without fear.
“Purpose” is the difference.
What has kept me from honing my skills for all these years? Why have I not created for the sheer joy of it? The intense pressure I put on myself, the high demands I make and harsh, ever-present voice of my inner hyper-critic are partly to blame, but it’s the lack of purpose that’s the root of my shameful lack of productivity! Hey, and it only took me 30 years to figure out :|
Now how do I make this work for me?
Seeing as I’ve been trying – unsuccessfully – for a year now to make a living from my artistic tendencies, obviously “generating income”, “securing a pension so I don’t have to drive off a cliff” and “satisfying creative urges” are not purpose enough. As soon as I finished the major project I was working on, everything I had going on evaporated. And I was so inspired… I think the desire for purpose ties in with my longing to make art that honours the divine, speaks for my beliefs, just… something meaningful.
“Inside you there’s an artist you don’t know about… say yes quickly, if you know, if you’ve known it from before the beginning of the universe.”